Heartbeat
by jemb
Summary: Booth and Brennan struggle with their feelings after an emotional night


_**This is just an angsty hurt/comfort piece I wrote this afternoon. Not great but I had to get it out of my head or it would plague me for all eternity. Enjoy!**_

Temperance Brennan does as she is told for once and sits in Booth's SUV, watching intently as he and the other FBI Agents advance towards the apartment building. They are about to arrest the suspect in Booth and Brennan's murder case but they know he is armed and dangerous so Booth instructed her to remain in the vehicle. In the past Brennan would have defied him and gone closer to the action but after everything that has happened in the last year she knows how high the chances are of her being hurt. So she remains at a safe distance, somewhat protected by the shell of the Suburban.

Brennan feels adrenalin pumping through her veins, knowing there is a good chance that shots will be fired, either by their suspect, the FBI or both. Her eyes scan the entrance and she spots their suspect, hovering in the shadows. Despite the dark night, she can make out the gun in his hands. Distance muffles Booth's voice, as Brennan hears him shout out to the suspect, ordering him to drop the gun. She watches the agents forming a semi-circle around the entrance, preventing the suspect from running. Booth draws closer to him, his gun held out in strong steady hands. Brennan finds something captivating about Booth's movements. The way he stalks forward, shoulders and head held strong and defiant, arms extended forward, his aim no doubt perfect. She feels a shiver run down her spine.

Suddenly there flurry of activity as gunshots ring out loudly, taking Brennan off guard. Her eyes widen and she gasps in a sharp breath as she sees Booth stumble backwards and fall, his body hitting the ground with what she can imagine is a loud thud. Her hand slips to the door and she opens in, her body sliding out the SUV, all the time not taking her eyes off her fallen partner. Logically she knows he should be fine; he put on a Kevlar vest and they're supposed to stop bullets. But she still feels her heart racing as he lies motionless on the ground, her mind thinking for a terrifying moment that he is not okay. Her feet carry her a few steps from the vehicle, one hand at her throat, and her eyes shift from Booth to the doorway of the building as the injured shooter is arrested by another agent, then back to Booth. She wants to run over to Booth but she can't move. Her feet are rooted to the spot, her heart pounding so hard she can feel it through her whole body. Something deep down inside is petrified that Booth isn't going to get up. Two agents crouch by his side then to her relief she sees him being hoisted to his feet. She releases a breath she didn't know she had been holding. Booth's hand moves to his torso and if she isn't mistaken, a small smile flashes across his face as he begins to walk back towards the FBI vehicles.

Brennan's head drops to her chest for a moment before she sucks in a deep, calming breath. With her hands stuffed into her pockets, she forces her feet to move and she walks across the grass to where Booth is sitting with a paramedic checking his chest. His vest has been removed along with his shirt and he sits with only a tight white undershirt on, which is currently pulled up to expose his chest. She approaches him from the side, slowly, and he catches sight of her from the corner of his eye. He turns his head and smiles at her, only to break the smile for a grimace when the paramedic presses on his ribs.

"Hey Bones." He groans.

"You okay?" she asks, her voice remaining steady despite the internal shaking she feels.

"I'll have a few bruises but I'm fine." He nods.

"Good." She nods and hangs her head again. Booth turns to the paramedic currently putting his equipment back into his kit.

"We done here?" he asks. The paramedic nods and Booth rises to his feet, his face still grimacing a little. Brennan knows he's likely to have some sore bruises as the vests stop bullets but not the force with which they hit the body.

"Come on Bones, I'll drive you home." He places his hand on her lower back and guides her away from the ambulance and back to his SUV. With the suspect injured but in custody, there is nothing else for them to do here tonight.

xxxx

Booth shrugs his jacket off with only minor discomfort as he follows Brennan into her apartment. She tosses her keys onto a small table by the door and runs a hand through her hair.

"Intense night huh." Booth smiles.

"You should put some ice on your ribs." Brennan replies, her voice a little quiet. "I'll get you a pack from the freezer." She discards her own jacket as she walks through to her kitchen. She hears Booth pottering around in her living room and her mind flashes back to the moment she saw him go down and how it all would have been different if he hadn't been wearing that vest. Pulling open the freezer compartment she removes an ice pack, trying to ignore the tightness she feels in her chest. As she closes the door, her mind is flooded with images of Booth lying on the ground, blood pooling around him for bullet wounds to the chest. Her breathing comes a little sharper and she turns, leaning her back against the fridge. She realises how lucky Booth was. The suspect shot him in the chest and the Kevlar stopped it. But if his aim had been different, Booth could have been shot in the head or elsewhere on his body and he would not be standing in her living room. He'd be in a morgue or at best in hospital, probably in surgery.

Brennan closes her eyes and tries to dispel the frightening images of a dying Booth flashing before her. But she can't get them out of her head and as her breathing grows faster, she feels her knees weakening. Slowly she slides down the fridge and comes to a stop when she hits the floor, her knees drawn up to her chest, her arms limp at her sides.

"Hey Bones, you get lost in there?" Booth calls out jokingly as he walks towards the kitchen. As he steps through he sees her sitting on the floor leaning against the fridge, a distant look on her face and her body trembling.

"Bones?" he almost whispers, moving so he is kneeling before her. "Bones, what's wrong?" his hand reaches out and brushes across her cheek. She doesn't seem to hear him; her eyes are unfocused and glassy.

"Did you hurt yourself?" he asks as he scans her from head to toe searching for a non existent injury. As his hands come to rest on her arms, he feels her whole body shaking. "Bones, you're scaring me." He whispers, his eyes intensely focused on her face. Finally her eyes shift to his and he sees her bright blue eyes fill with tears. He has never seen Brennan like this and he can't fathom what has triggered it. She was fine just a few minutes ago, a little tired and quiet, but fine.

"Temperance?" his voice is a little more forceful as he cups her cheek in his palm. Suddenly her tears spill over and run down her pale cheeks. She begins to cry, and not softly either. Her body shakes with sobs and Booth doesn't know what to do. So he slides onto the floor beside her and draws her into his arms. She remains stiff as Booth strokes her hair and holds her close, her head tucked under his chin.

"It'll be okay Bones, whatever it is, it'll be okay." He whispers. He feels his heart breaking as she cries, knowing that something has upset her but not what that something is and not being able to help her. After what seems like an eternity but is only a few minutes, Booth feels Brennan relax and her body sags against his, her hand clutching at his shirt as her sobs turn into soft crying. He presses a soft kiss on her head as she sniffs and brings herself back under control. As soon as she does though, she withdraws from him. Booth reluctantly lets her go but he remains at her side, one arm still around her shoulders.

"I'm sorry." She whispers an apology.

"Hey, you don't need to apologise." Booth smiles. "But maybe you can tell me why?" Brennan wipes her wet cheeks with the backs of her hands.

"It's silly." She shakes her head.

"It can't be that silly of it made you this upset." He waits for Brennan to explain, concerned for a moment by a prolonged silence.

"I was just thinking about tonight. When you got shot." She takes a deep breath. "I knew you were okay but…" she trails off.

"But what Bones?" Booth encourages. Brennan suddenly pushes herself off the ground and to her feet, letting Booth's arm fall. As she walks across to the other side of the kitchen, placing her hands on the edge of the counter for support, Booth rises to his feet and walks over behind her.

"Bones?"

"Nothing Booth, it's nothing." Brennan shakes her head. Booth doesn't buy it and he plants his hands on her shoulders, turning her around to face him. He lifts one hand and wipes a few stay tears from her cheek with his thumb.

"Please Bones, tell me what's wrong." Booth pleads. He doesn't like that she is upset and won't tell him why. He thought they were close enough to share everything. He shifts his hand to cup her cheek, his thumb still stroking small circles on her soft skin. Brennan seems to lean into his hand as he cradles her cheek, her eyes drifting closed for just a moment.

"I was thinking about what would have happened…if you didn't have the vest on." She finally admits.

"Oh." Booth's mouth forms a wide circle.

"See, it's stupid." She pulls away from him again but Booth catches her wrist and draws her back.

"It's not stupid Bones." Booth's voice is soft and comforting.

"But you're fine." She protests. "There's no reason to be upset."

"Bones, it's natural to feel upset when someone you…" He pauses, choosing his words carefully. "…care about, is in a dangerous situation."

"I don't know what I'd do if you died Booth." Brennan suddenly admits. It takes Booth by surprise and he lifts his head up a little.

"Do you think about it?" he probes, not wanting to upset her more but needing to know what's going on in her head.

"More than I should." She leans forward and rests her head against his chest, not wanting to look at him. This isn't how she wanted him to know.

"What do you mean by that?" Booth pushes her back so he can look at her. She turns her head but Booth slips a finger under her chin and draws her back to him. He sees her eyes flash with emotion and her jaw tighten.

"I think about it every time we step out into the field." She blurts out. "I think about how I would cope not having you in my life. How much it would hurt." She feels the tears burning behind her eyes. "I'm scared Booth. I'm scared of losing you." Booth is a little shocked at her emotional outburst, not realising she felt quite as strongly as this.

"Bones." He sighs. "I…" Brennan wrenches herself away from him and crosses to the other side of the room, the intensity of the moment overpowering her.

"I think about it too." He says with his back still turned to her. "I know you can kick ass Bones." He turns to her. "But I still worry when you're in the field with me. I worry about not being able to protect you. I think about how empty my life would be without you in it." His eyes smoulder with emotion and Brennan stands up straight, feeling his intensity deep down in her stomach.

"Sometimes I just want you to stay in the lab because I know you can't get hurt there. But I like having you at my side, I need you there." He takes a few steps across the room towards her.

"Booth." Brennan's voice is barely a whisper.

"I'm not sure I understand what that means for us Bones." He stands before her, only a few inches of air separating their bodies.

"I don't either." She admits. She looks down and grasps one of Booth's hands with hers, linking their fingers together. His free hand rises and brushes her hair behind her ear, his fingers lingering at her jaw. They stare at each other in silence for a long moment before Booth raises their linked hands and presses the back of her hand to his chest over his heart. His other hand slides around to the back of her neck and pulls her towards him. Leaning forward, he brushes his lips gently against hers, feeling her body tremble.

"Feel my heartbeat Temperance." He whispers. Brennan nods weakly upon registering the rhythmic beat of Booth's heart. "I don't know what's going to happen with us but I'm not going anywhere for a long time."


End file.
